In the following paragraphs, everything I will be saying is knowledge I have gained from reading “How To Win Friends And Influence People ” by Dale Carnegie. This is one of my Top 3 favourite books, and I strongly recommend you to read it since I will only be able to talk about a tiny fraction of the life lessons Carnegie wrote about in his book. 

Chapters 4 to 9 Dale Carnegie has designated to ”Ways to make people like you”, and these will be the chapters I will be referring to also. Therefore, this will be less about me talking about my personal experiences and more of a summary of Carnegie’s lessons regarding this topic. Though I must say that these lessons have helped me a lot. Now I want to share with you 3 ways to make people like you.

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1. Become genuinely interested in other people. 

• Principle 4, How to Win Friends and Influence People- Dale Carnegie

Something that took me a long time to realize is that you can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you because, as Carnegie emphasizes again and again: people are not interested in you, they are interested in themselves- morning, noon and after dinner. 

“We are interested in others when they are interested in us. “

– Publilius Syrus

What also is important is to make them feel special in a sense. 2 easy tips to get people to like you are to 

I. Remember their birthday. When someone tells you their birthday, write it down in your calendar and congratulate them on that day. This will make them automatically like you more.

II. Another simple thing to do to make someone like you is, when they call you, to say “hello” in a very pleased and enthusiastic manner to bespeak how happy you are about that person calling you.

“If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm. “

– Dale Carnegie

2. “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the most important sound in any language. “

• Principle 6, How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie

This is probably the lesson that Dale Carnegie has used the most and has brought him much success, as odd as that sounds. 

Carnegie himself was proud that he could call many of his factory workers by their first names, and he boasted that while he was personally in charge, no strike ever disturbed his flaming steel mills. 

Another time he used this principle was when he named one of his steel mills after the president of the railroad in the same state. This has brought him the most significant customer in this business, which shows the power one’s name has on a person. 

So what you should do is when people tell you their name, remember it. Write it down if you have to. And then use it in conversation with that person.

Also, especially in business, call people by their full name, even if it is hard to remember or pronounce, as few people take the trouble to do so. 

“Remember that name and call it easily, and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. But forget it or misspell it- and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.” 

– Jim Farley

Dale Carnegie wasn’t the only one who swore by this principle. Napoleon the Third, Nephew of the great Napoleon, boasted that he could remember the name of every person he ever met despite all his royal duties. If he didn’t hear the name, he simply asked. If it was unusual, he asked for the spelling. Then, he repeated it several times during the conversation, which helped him remember the name faster. 

“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices. “

– Emerson

3. “Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.”

• Principle 8, How to Win Friends and Influence People Dale Carnegie

This principle parallels principle 4, as it also focuses on the other person and not on oneself. 

Franklin D. Roosevelt used this principle a lot. In ”How to Win Friends and Influence People”, Carnegie says that whenever Roosevelt expected a visitor, the night before, he would stay up late and read about the subject in which he knew his guest was particularly interested. For Roosevelt knew, as all leaders know, that the royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most.

“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.”

– Dale Carnegie

Sometimes, especially when trying to win customers, you have to take the trouble to thoroughly inform yourself about their interests and educate yourself on these topics. During the next converstaion, bring up this topic and they will enjoy talking to you and either like you more or will want to get in business with you.

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As you have probably noticed by now, these tips will not only help you make new friends but can also be used on customors, your employees or employer, whomever you want to make an excellent impression. 

Want to read more?

• Assets VS. Liabilities
• 3 Ways To Make People Like You
• Passive Income- How To Make Money Work For You Part 2
• 3 Habits of Highly Successful People
• How To Make Money Online

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